Shhhhhhhhhhhh

I am trying to look as though I am working as I'm sat here at my desk feeling very frustrated. My nemesis leaves tomorrow (hurrah !!!) But we have this uneasy feeling that she will be unable to leave without spitting her venom on us. I am dreading it.

I am feeling very agitated, almost on the verge of throwing up and I don't really understand why. Can this really be linked back to things that have happened previously, I don't know. I am trying to trust God with this and with everything else, I am clinging on to the fact that He loves me, and as always I am failing to hand anything over to Him - other than my favourite prayer at the moment of God help me.

I doubt I will ever get my head round the whole God thing, I have severe doubts about God's place in my heart, and about my ability to trust Him with everything. The nagging doubts, the negative comments are ringing loudly in my ears.