So much news

Well, it's been a while and a lot has gone on. I have to say that for the first time in a very long time I can finally see some healing taking place.

Me the girl who swore blind that she would never date has been out on a date and even more surprising is the fact that I didn't scare him off, I didn't come across as totally screwed up and we are actually going to have a 2nd date this weekend.

Also I have further good news....

My uncle was diagnosed with throat cancer just before Christmas and last week he was given the all clear (Thanks God)

My middle sister is also pregnant so in the space of 3 months I'll have 2 new nieces or nephews to join the little angel known as Callum.

The question is how far have I come ?

Well if I answer honestly and without embarrassment I've come further than I ever imagined possible. The dark days still occur but no where near as often and I look at them in a different way now. It's taken a lot of hard work and many, many tears but at last I can see more clearly.

God really does know all, and even when you can't or don't want to turn to Him, He puts people in your path to help you along the way.

Exciting News !!!!!!!

Well if you didn't read my previous blog then I suggest you go back and read it now.......

Now for those good souls that did here is the good news. The promotion I said I wasn't that bothered about I got (YAY !!!!)

I have learnt from an early age never to expect anything and if things don't work out it's usually because of something I've done wrong along the way. Well I was called into my boss's office and my first thought was what have I done wrong now. How wrong I was, she called me in to tell me I got the job

WooooooooooooooooooooooooooHoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Apologies

Ok so I begin my blog with apologies to Arty......what can I say I am busy with work (I know a poor excuse) also trying to get sorted for my holidays and then trying to deal with my life in general.

I actually started posting about 2 or 3 weeks ago and never really got passed the first sentence. I was reading Morety's blog - the basic message was about letting go and letting God in (I suggest you read it http://moretysworld.blogspot.com/2008/04/letting-go.html) anyway as I was reading I realised that I was afraid to fully let go and let God in.

What am I afraid of ???

What have I got to lose ???

At this point I could give you a whole list of answers to these questions and I'm fairly sure a few of you would shoot me down in flames lol

Ultimately, what is holding me back from God ?

Easy to answer, no matter how much I say it to myself and many, many others have told me my heart says God couldn't possibly love me.

Anyway, enough of the God stuff, life is pretty crazy just now I go away on Friday for a week and I am busy trying to sort stuff out at work and I might possibly in line a promotion which would be great but if it doesn't happen it's not the end of the world.

Oh and the other great news is my baby sister is expecting her first baby in October and I will be an aunty again (YAY) and my little darling nephew will have a new play mate !!!

Take a look at Callum wearing my City hat lol

What's new ?

Well my dear friends,

I have been pondering for a few days now on whether to blog or not. I could post any number of things, but none of which would tell you anything about me or where I am at today. So welcome to my world if you don't like it or don't want to know then tough!!

At this moment in time I am back down the slippery slope of depression, back on the happy pills and am at a pretty low point. This is for a number of reasons, I have discovered over the last couple of months that I don't deal well with stress at work. While I have worked hard at maintaining my wonder woman image I have also allowed myself to be taken advantage of by my boss.

I have always thought it was a good thing to take responsibility, and while yes it is in some cases there are also extremes and I think I fall into this category. I have a nature that means I take everything as being my fault - I am a true perfectionist yet I feel like I am constantly failing.

If you are still following me so far you are doing well as I even confuse myself most of the time!

Anyway, I don't really know what else to say other than I am using my usual coping mechanism which is to hide away.

I hope so

I know a secret

I am so excited, I have just found out tonight that my baby sister is expecting her first baby in October and I can't wait!!!!

I love babies.......




But I couldn't eat a whole one

I am with you

God is faithful and true He is always with us, no matter how far away we feel. He has the most amazing unconditional love for each one of us. He knew us before we were formed He has counted every hair on our heads and we are His precious children !!!!!!!!!!!!

I am with you...

I am with you. Always.
No matter what your life looks like.
No matter what you are thinking.
No matter what is happening around you.

I am. I am with you. Always.

I made the decision to serve and love you. Always.

My hand is upon you, my child.
My hand will guide and lead you.
My hand will protect you.
My hand will strengthen you.
My hand will never leave you.

I have made the choice to help you.
I have made the choice to love you.
I have made the choice to be there.

For you.

So rest in Me. So rest in My presence.
So rest in the assurance that I do not leave you.
Rest, my child and find healing.
Rest and find life.
Rest and find Me.

I am. With you.

I love you.

Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit.